Darth and Delenn hit the Wine Country, by Doug Williams

Editors note:  This was first published in the first issue of the TMCA Sentinel.  The picture is of Ann and Doug with Darth and Delenn at the Beringer Estate Rhine House

Ann and I recently spent a three-day weekend in the Napa Valley to celebrate our anniversary.  It goes without saying that our Tibetan Mastiffs, Darth and Delenn, went along for the trip.  The first stop was Calistoga for a mud bath, spa, blanket wrap, and massage.  We left D&D outside for this one.  I thought it would be a nightmare trying to get all the mud out of their coats, and the spa would have had trouble getting all the fur out of their mud.  D&D enjoy guarding the minivan anyway, so why deprive them of their fun?

As usual in such cases, we left the back hatch of the van open so that it would be cool, and tethered D&D to the van with cables in a remote and shady part of the parking lot.  We also put up the exercise pen around the back of the van, just to keep stupid people from trying to pet them.  Some people simply do not understand that it is not a good idea to approach a tied dog or Do-Khyi as they are called in Tibet.  Actually we have been quite lucky to date; D&D have been quite tolerant of intruders so long as they have good intentions.  So far the greatest danger has been to my heart!  This occurred on a previous trip when a small girl came running up to the van and gave Delenn a big hug.  Fortunately, D&D are signatories to the Tibetan Articles of Guardian Conduct Concerning Intruders Under Three Feet Tall.  They were actually quite happy about the whole incident, but it almost scared me to death.  This is what prompted me to add the exercise pen to the arrangement.

But this parking lot was quite large, and it had a large unpaved section that was far off the beaten path.  When Ann and I returned over two hours later, D&D were quite content.  The only vehicle parked nearby was still a good 100 feet away.  It was guarded by a male Malamute, also on a cable, whose owner must have had the same idea.  No barking was involved, but Darth and the Malamute were involved in an "I'm bigger than you" contest.  They were both puffing themselves up and strutting about.  It seemed to me that Darth was the easy winner, but the Mal was not backing down.  Delenn seemed rather bored with the whole testosterone laden event.

We used the same tie-out and pen arrangement for the rest of the trip as we toured the wineries and stocked up on Napa Valley wine.  At the V. Sattui winery, we bought a few cases of wine and also bought some food for a picnic on the V. Sattui grounds.  Sue, the checkout clerk, was a real character.  Ann and I were joking about all sorts of things with her.  When we finally finished checking out, she rudely bellowed "Hey boy!  Swap out one of these Gewürztraminer's for a cold one for these folk's picnic!  And then take the rest of the wine out to their vehicle.  Move it!  Move it!"  Noting our astonished faces, she laughingly added, "I can say that because he's my husband."  Jim was smiling, and seemed to be used to this little gag.  And so I went with Jim to take the wine out to the van, while Ann set up for our picnic.  I warned Jim that we had dogs in the van, but I don't think he was quite ready for D&D.

Where are you parked?  Jim asked.  "All the way out in the back."  I replied.  As we got closer, I could see that D&D were out of sight.  I thought to myself that they must be behind the van in the bushes that we were backed up against, or perhaps inside the van.  "It's the dark red van with the hatch open."  Jim found this last piece of information disturbing.  "Oh!  You shouldn't leave your car open, we had some people who got some stuff stolen out of their vehicle just last…WHOA!"

A single sharp bark and the sound of a cable snapping taut punctuated Jim's exclamation as Delenn confronted him.  Darth calmly appeared behind Delenn, offering a low growl as a backup.  "WOW!  Those are some SERIOUS dogs!  Jim exclaimed.  "Yes, they are our wine guardians."  I replied.  Jim was suitably impressed.  "I bet you never lose any wine!"  "Nope, never lost a bottle."  D&D were friendly enough once I explained that Jim was bringing more wine, and not taking anything that we already had.  Jim enjoyed petting them once he saw that they were no longer in guardian mode.  We put the wine in the van, and I walked D&D on leash over to the picnic area where we met Ann for lunch.

And so our trip continued.  There are many garden statues in the wine country, and these were new items for D&D.  A statue of a wine maiden startled Delenn.  She was astonished to see an intruder appear at point blank range with no prior olfactory or audible warning.  She jumped back and growled at it.  She tentatively approached for a sniff, but only after I showed her that it was okay.  Rather embarrassing for a guardian!  Later, Delenn was ambushed once again, this time by a statue of Bacchus in the Beringer Estate courtyard.  This encounter had the same result.  But hey, the obviously inebriated guy was running around stark naked with only a single strategically placed grape bunch to cover him.  That could scare anybody!  After Bacchus, Delenn seemed to have learned her lesson about statues and she no longer reacted to them.  At this point, Darth had not really had an encounter with a statue.  He was to meet his nemesis later.

Several wineries later, we were touring the Petrified Forest, a side attraction with (surprise) petrified trees.  They allow dogs on the trail, and it makes for an interesting walk among the living and petrified trees.  D&D were more interested in the living trees than the stone ones, and all was going well until we met a painted statue of a prospector and his donkey.  I was walking Delenn on leash, while Ann had Darth.  This time Delenn was not fooled.  She showed interest, but she sniffed the air…and then relaxed.  Darth, on the other hand, fell for the illusion hook, line and sinker.

Darth thought that the prospector and his donkey looked mighty suspicious, and the prospector even had a rifle!  Darth calmly and prudently advanced to block the prospector from approaching Ann.  The prospector had a funny stare.  Darth looked behind him, and saw that the prospector was staring directly at Ann!  Darth gave a low warning growl.  The prospector did not move.  Darth gave a louder growl.  The prospector continued to stare at Ann.  Now alarmed, Darth swelled up to full size, head and tail erect, hackles raised.  He gave the prospector a loud growl with a very clear message: BACK OFF NOW!  The prospector offered no response.  This enraged Darth, he had provided ample warning and had been ignored!  Clearly, this prospector was a threat to Ann.  Did this vagrant think that he was bluffing?  Tibetan Mastiffs don't bluff!  Darth lunged forward and snapped at the prospector in an all out attack!

Ann was laughing so hard that she did not even try to restrain him.  Fortunately, a wire fence protected the prospector.  We were able to calm Darth back down in short order.  Darth was more convinced by the sight of Delenn calmly standing by with her tongue lolling to one side than anything that Ann or I said or did.  Since the Petrified Forest was mentioned in our book of dog friendly attractions, I suspect that Darth was not the first to make such an attack.  I pushed the bent fence back into place, and we continued on our walk.

All in all, we had a great time touring the wine country.  There are many beautiful gardens to walk, and plenty of great wines to sample.  We returned home well stocked.